Ok so you’ve got her number and now it’s time to call her. Now you’ve gone through the work of getting her number so it’s crucial here that you don’t mess it up with this first phone call.

Although you’ve had to establish a connection with her in order to get her number, no matter how good that connection was, the dynamics of this first phone call are going to be different.

The connection that you established in order to get her number has long gone, so this first phone call has got to be right. And yes, it has to be a phone call. The majority of women when surveyed admitted that they prefer a man to call them, rather than text them.

It shows women you’re man enough to call them, rather than tread around the edges with text messages. Text messages can sometimes confuse the issue as she may not get your sense of humour and texts fail to convey emotion which is what women are all about. However most women will just think you haven’t got the courage to call them if you text them first.

Also, texting her is a risky approach as she may not reply to it, and any messages you send after she hasn’t replied will cause you to come across as needy or desperate.

Texting her usually only works if she has initiated the first contact via sending you a text message. Then its fine then to text her back. But women will also text you first as a means of getting you to call them. It’s fine to respond to a couple of texts but you really need to call her to set up the first dateUltimate First Date Guide

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Don’t get caught up in texting marathons with her as this will be too much hard work for you in the end, and it will also take away from the mystery and anticipation of meeting you again.

You’ll end up having to constantly work at coming up with witty and interesting replies to all of her little messages and you’re breaking the rule of ‘minimum contact before the second date’.

This minimum contact rule is founded upon the principle that the more you say to a womanUnderground Seduction

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There is no right time to call her. A lot has been said about this, but ultimately, every girl is different. While one girl might experience exciting anticipation as she waits for your call for a few days, another girl might just think you’re a wimp for not calling her sooner and an ass for making her wait. There is no perfect time to call her.

In saying that, no one likes talking to voice mail so ideally you might want to call her after 5.30 so she’s not at work and she can actually take the call. But remember, the best time to call her is when you feel good, and you’re in a confident mood.

A well left voice message asking her out somewhere is still better than a bumbling phone call, so make sure you’re in the right mood for this. Now let’s lay out the guide lines for this first call.

Do not call her from a private number. A lot of women do not answer phone calls from a private number. If she doesn’t answer your first call and you call her later again on a private number, it’s going to start freaking her out.

Have the decency to reveal your number to her. Most women wouldn’t give you their number if they didn’t want you to call them. She is also more likely to accept the call from you even if she doesn’t recognize the number.

Now this first phone call is going to be fully rehearsed by you. The reasons you need to rehearse this phone call is because if it rings, and ends up going to her voice mail, you’re still going to leave a message asking her out.

Now how many guys have the courage to do this…? Gorgeous women have lots of offers but this will really put you a cut above the rest if you can leave a well spoken message inviting her out for coffee. Instinctively most guys would hang up if they called a girl for the first time and it went to voice mail. But not you…

Because you’re on your way to becoming an expert with women, this is one facet of the seduction game that you’re going to master. It’s simply a matter of writing out exactly what you’re going to say and rehearsing it for a day, just like an actor rehearses his lines.

If you don’t do your homework here, it can fall apart, so it’s definitely well worth it. You’re trying to become familiar with leaving a message that you wouldn’t normally leave, so there is no shame in practicing this until you get it right. It’s a shame however to get a girls number and blow it because you didn’t practice this simple art…and yes you’re going to turn it into an art form.

When you show a woman you have the courage to ask her out via voice mail it leaves her with a memento, and she will definitely listen to the message a few times and the likelihood of her calling you back is far greater than that of a missed call on her phone. Let’s look at the alternative of not leaving a message.

If you hang up when it goes to voice mail the first time you call and she doesn’t return your missed call, you’re going to have to call her again. Wait at least one day before you call her back as you don’t want to leave two missed calls on her phone in the same day.

If she doesn’t answer again that’s two missed called from your number on her phone. Now if you called again the following day that’s three missed calls on her phone…. sounds desperate, and a tad creepy. Not good.

It’s much better just to leave a message the first time you call if she doesn’t answer her phone. A simple message something like this will do you wonders…

“Hi Stacey, its Steve… we met at the ice rink on Saturday… I was calling to ask you out for a coffee this Thursday night… I know this cool little cafe where they serve great coffee…and I’d love to get to know you a bit better over a coffee…I’m free around seven on Thursday so give me a call back and let me know if that’s good for you….. ok, hear from you soon…bye”

It’s short, but not too short. If you seriously rehearsed this message you could really inject some subliminal tonal seduction into it. After you read through it 50 times you could make it your own and have it absolutely perfected.

It also contains the word love in it, and women adore that word. There is no emphasis on that word, but it is still covertly inserted into the message. It is also seeded with the gentle subliminal expectation that she will call you back. (Ok, hear from you soon…bye) These gentle subliminal expectations can be very powerful psychological tools when used correctly.

But remember: some women may be very interested in a man and yet even after the man has called and left a message, they will not respond to it. They sometimes get too busy, or they forget, or they just can’t be bothered sometimes. This may sound strange but remember they are wired different to men. Just because she doesn’t call back doesn’t mean she isn’t interested. That’s why you’re going to adopt a three strike call policy.

The important thing to remember is; do not take this dating game personally,… If you do, it will hinder your form and create resentment within you. You’re a smooth operator…not a guy who holds grudges against women that don’t call back.

You want to call the girl at least two days before you plan to meet as this gives her an extra day to get around to calling you or texting you back. So you’d want to call her on Tuesday evening if you want to meet her on Thursday evening.

That way if she hasn’t called you back by midday on Thursday you can give her another call back mid Thursday afternoon. If she doesn’t answer again and it goes to voice mail, you guessed it; you’re going to leave her another expert message. And here’s how your second message is going to play out.

Hi Stacey, its Steve,…I’d really like to take you out for a coffee this evening and get to know you a little better…. I think you’d look cute with some cappuccino froth on your nose… I’m free around seven so it’d be great to hear from you so we could meet up tonight. Ok, hear from you soon Stace…bye.

Now you’ll notice in this message that there is no referral to the first message that you left her. If you did add something into the second message like, “I left you a message on Tuesday”, you can come across as negative and you sound like a complainer.

She knows that you left her a message on Tuesday; she doesn’t need to be reminded of it. It would also carry the presupposition that she was meant to respond to that message. So forget about reminding her that you’ve already left her a message as there is nothing to gain from that.

The fact that you don’t remind her, shows that you’re a man who is easy going and not at all clingy or needy, and a man that doesn’t get hung up on little things. This will be refreshing for her and also increase your chances of her calling you back despite the fact that she didn’t return your first message.

This second message contains a compliment which also shows her that you couldn’t care less that she didn’t return the first message. The message doesn’t contain the word love in it again as this would over use the word. It still contains a subliminal expectation that she is going to call you back and it also uses a shortened version of her name which subliminally builds comfort and trust.

Don’t get lazy and forget to rehearse this message thoroughly. Any words you mispronounce or any time you trip up in a sentence will tend to come across as you lacking self confidence, so make sure you do your homework again. If you do trip up, just ignore it or laugh at yourself, don’t take it seriously, and keep going.

Now while we’re talking about messages let’s assume that she hasn’t responded to the last two messages you’ve left her and Thursday night has come and gone.

Wait at least a day and call her again. If she answers, don’t make a big deal about the fact that she hasn’t returned any of your messages. Just proceed to converse with her as you’ll learn to do so in the upcoming paragraphs, and forget about her failing to return your messages the first two times. Remember your job is to date her and make her feel good, not make her wrong and feel bad.

However if this third phone call goes to voice mail again it’s best to leave a message like this for her;

“Hi Stacey,…its Steve. I felt some chemistry with you last Saturday when we met…so that’s why I asked for your number. I was hoping to take you out on Thursday but you haven’t responded to any of the messages I’ve left you,…so,….this is the last time I’m going to call you….because I don’t want to bother you if you’re not interested…. If you’d like to call me back and chat that’d be great….but if you don’t,… I won’t call you anymore. Hope I hear from you soon….and if I don’t….it was nice to meet you Stacey….bye.

Again, make sure you thoroughly rehearse the message so it comes out natural. Use a polite tone throughout the entire message. You’d be surprised how many girls will call you back after you leave this message.

It shows your interested because it’s the third message you’ve left her and it also tells her that it’s the last time you’re going to call her. Some women love men who don’t give up and they will only be flattered by your persistence.

It also lets them know that you’re no longer available should they fail to call you back again. You’re not making her wrong throughout the message; you’re just clearly and politely stating that you won’t call her anymore. Once some women know this, you’re value will go up and they will be inclined to call you.

But, do not call her again. There is no need for you to chase women who are clearly not interested….move on and don’t take it personally. For all you know she might have started seeing her ex boyfriend again….it’s not your problem.

Now let’s learn how to handle the first call when she does answer the call.

Firstly you must ensure that you have a destination set in your mind of where you’re going to invite her for coffee, and a backup plan in place should she object to a particular destination for some reason. This is essential so that you do not come across as unsure of yourself when it comes to asking her to meet you at a particular destination.

You need to have specific coffee shop in mind and a reason for choosing the destination. And on top of that you need to have a back up shop too in case she has an objection regarding your first suggestion.

This way, no matter what happens you have two destinations in mind, and reasons for choosing both. No matter what her objection is, you’ll sound smooth and unshaken when it comes to handling her objection.

Some women will even object to your first suggestion just to see how you handle their objection and to gain a sense of control over the conversation. But because you have a backup plan you’ll pass their little tests with flying colours.

You’ll also want to rehearse explaining to her the directions on how to get there. Women’s brains are wired different to men’s and they prefer visual directions as opposed to logical directions using street names and distances.

For instance instead of saying “After you turn onto Clarke street just keep going for about 200m and then turn left into Jones street and you’ll see the coffee shop about a 100m down on the left.” These directions would leave the average woman bemused.

Instead try; “After you turn onto Clarke Street, that’s the street with Mc Donald’s on the corner, you keep going down it until you see a service station on the left. Turn left after that service station and the coffee shop is halfway down the street on the left just after a 7/11 store.”

It seems like a small detail but it’s just another trick that will help you build more of a connection. Once most women hear street names and distances in metres they will switch off. This way, it will seem to her like your speaking her language.

It’s an absolute must to keep a pen and paper by the phone and write down the names of any of her friends, family members, or pets that she might tell you about in this first call. Do not underestimate the importance of this.

When you talk to her the next time you meet her and ask her a question regarding how things are with a particular friend etc, you’ll be using their correct name. This helps her to build trust with you and will generate massive levels of attraction towards you. Most guys would’ve forgotten her pets name by the time they meet up with her two days later…but not you.

This will add high value to you during your first meeting with her when you ask her questions regarding her friends etc whilst also addressing them with the correct name. For this reason, take down as many details as you can during this first call.

This first call is going to be as short as possible. You will not allow yourself to get stuck on the phone with her no matter how well you are connecting with her. This is exactly how women will get bored with you and loose interest.

You don’t know enough about her to chat to her on the phone for extended periods and it will backfire on you. Make the call short and sweet. This will also leave her wanting more. Make sure you’re the one who ends the phone call.

You do not want to talk about the weather or your work, and you do not want to talk to her about meaningless details like where her brother lives. You want to talk to her about feelings and use descriptive stories to convey emotions.

Of course you’re going to get caught up in some meaningless small talk about details, but steer the conversation away from this and attempt to build more attraction via playful flirting.

Try using these conversation points throughout the first call to help you stay on track and get her to agree to meet you for a coffee.

When you do ask her to meet you for coffee, make sure you tell her where and when you want to take her so she can respond with a direct answer. Otherwise she might respond with “so where exactly did you want to take me,…and what time?” When she responds with this, it forces you to explain yourself more before she gives you an answer and it ruins your natural conversational dynamics.

Give her all the information she needs within the question and your likely to get a direct answer. If you don’t, it can seem like your having to come up with more reasons and details in order for her to say yes to you, and this lowers your value.

You don’t want to be on the phone with her for any more than seven minutes and you want to ask her out for coffee at about the five minute mark. After she says yes make sure you chat to her for at least another two minutes before you hang up. Now try the following to ensure the conversation flows smoothly.

• Ask her how her day has been
• Ask her if she is doing anything exciting tonight
• Ask her how the rest of her day/night was after you got her number
• Ask her out for a coffee
• Ask her about her favourite hobby or what she has been doing for fun lately.

Now for all of the above conversation points make sure you have an answer to all of your own questions. This can be a mistake that the average guy makes. He asks her really cool easy going questions and when she answers him and then asks the same questions back, he just freezes up and says, “oh, my day was good too thanks.”

Prepare an interesting answer to all of your own questions and rehearse your answers too. You only have to rehearse your answers for so long before you get them perfect with a bit of humour and seduction thrown in. You can use the same format for all women you ring for the first time.

This will work on all girls so you’ve got no excuse to take a bit of time and come up with some interesting answers. As for actually asking her out you can try something like; “…the reason I’ve called you is to ask you out for a coffee this Thursday evening at a nice little chocolate cafe in the city….would you be interested in that…?”

If she says ‘yes’, then ask her something like, “is seven o’clock on Thursday evening good for you”. If she says yes then you can just say something like, “Ok that’s great,…I’ll text you the address of the cafe on Thursday afternoon and we’ll go from there……and by the way,…I forgot to ask you,…what exactly is it you do for fun etc”

Asking her another question at the end of the invite tends to take away some of the awkwardness and tension from the conversation.

If she’s undecided and begins to moan and groan about it you can just gently coax her into it with something like “Hey it’s just coffee, I’m not going to ask you to marry me….it’ll be fun, I promise”. Or you could try, “…I know your acting…and you know you want to go…it’ll be fun”….Or….”Come on…you sound like your scared to have a little bit of fun,…give it a go”.

These gentle pushes are sometimes all a women needs to agree to go on a coffee date with you. So do them very light heartedly and playfully, and it can work wonders in your favour.

If she says “No” it just means you’ve got to remain patient and gently continue with your seduction techniques. If you can continue to flirt with her on the phone and behave as if nothing has happened then this will greatly increase your chances the next time you ask her. You can also play her “no” down with something like, “…I know…you probably think I’m too much fun for you…that’s ok…not all women can handle me”, then immediately divert the conversation back onto a lighter topic. This simply taunts her with reverse psychology and also shows her that when she says ‘no’ to you it doesn’t really bother you. Not many guys are capable of remaining this detached to their outcome.

She might even change her mind just to prove you wrong and prove to herself that she can handle you. Either way, it’s better than just accepting her ‘no’ as if it is final and unchangeable.

Don’t get hung up on her ‘no’, because if you continue the phone call as if nothing happened and continue to keep the conversation light hearted and flirtatious, then you can ask her again whilst she’s laughing with something like, “…see your having fun now, this would be even more entertaining in person while we’re sharing a coffee…I hope you’re not just too shy…”

She may at this moment just surrender to the invite and say, “well ok then” The important thing is to not give up and don’t take her rejections personally, and this will only make you more attractive in her eyes.

If her ‘no’ is very firm and cold and your intuition tells you you’ve got no chance at all, you can just reply with, “hey, there was no harm in asking, I just thought you’d be open to the idea of us getting to know each other a bit better…” Then change the subject and get off the phone. There is no reason why you need to waste time with women who are rude and cold.

It’s best to go into this first phone call with the mindset that you are giving something to her, and you don’t want to get something from her. This is the truth in reality, as you only want to show her a good time and allow her to experience good feelings. When you go into the call with this mindset it helps reduce nervousness because what’s there to be nervous of if you’re just ringing a girl up to offer her a good time…you have nothing to lose…

If this sounds like a lot to take in then consider the alternative of just blindly calling her up without these guide lines and think about how things might turn out for you. If you follow these guide lines throughout the first call you will greatly increase your chances of her being more receptive and accepting your invitations…